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Dear Inklings,
We are reading The Fellowship of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien this month. It is my favourite book of all time, and I’m super excited to finally share my love of it with you!
My essays for this book challenge will always be free to read, but the journaling exercises and discussions are for paid Inklings. We will be going deep and I want the space to be an intimate one. As the inaugural post, this one is free so you have an idea of what to expect. I hope you will choose to participate in our Fellowship!
Click here for the main page and reading schedule.
The first part of this essay was originally published on
’s site, Jokien with Tolkien.
“You can trust us to stick to you through thick and thin—to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours—closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. We are your friends.”
—Merry Brandybuck (emphasis mine)
And here, we have the crux of the whole trilogy. That’s it; we can all go home now.
Kidding aside, let us delve into one of the major themes of Tolkien’s work, influenced by the deep friendships he experienced throughout his own life. In The Fellowship of the Ring, Tolkien presents friendship as a force powerful enough to shape fate and transcend wisdom.
I read this book every year. What struck me during this year’s reading was the interplay of fate, wisdom, and friendship.
also has an excellent essay on this topic. Fate is mentioned several times just in the first few chapters of the first book: both the force of evil and “another force” at play.When Elrond is choosing members of the Fellowship, Frodo’s friends, Merry and Pippin, insist on being part of it. Elrond is hesitant, as he would rather select those who are more powerful or wise. Gandalf counters him, saying, “I think, Elrond, that in this matter it would be well to trust rather to their friendship than to great wisdom.”
This is powerful.
Friendship trumps conventional wisdom
Gandalf, in his own wisdom, recognises the power of the Hobbits’ bonds and encourages Elrond to allow Merry and Pippin to join the Fellowship. This has a direct impact on the outcomes of the quest, as both Merry and Pippin play significant roles in the story.
Without Merry, a major villain would not have been vanquished. Without Pippin, a beloved character would be dead.
Neither of these Hobbits is chosen based on their skill, knowledge, or power, but rather on their fierce loyalty to Frodo. Arguably the most loved Hobbit of all, Samwise Gamgee, is the least impressive. He is a mere gardener, lower on the social ladder than the other Hobbits, which is reflective in his speech and deference to “Master Frodo.”
Yet it is this loyalty that turns the tide. We will see this unfold throughout the entirety of the trilogy.
Let’s go back to when Gandalf is recounting Bilbo’s finding of the Ring to Frodo:
“It was the strangest event in the whole history of the Ring so far: Bilbo’s arrival just at that time, and putting his hand on it, blindly, in the dark.
[…]
“Behind that there was something else at work, beyond any design of the Ring-maker. I can put it no plainer than by saying that Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, and not by its maker. In which case you also were meant to have it. And that may be an encouraging thought.”
It’s clear throughout the series that opposing forces of fate are at work, influencing events, yet though destiny may have led the Ring into Bilbo’s hand, it is the friendships formed—namely, the bond between Frodo and Sam— that ultimately allow the quest to succeed.
In other words, while fate plays a role in setting the stage, individual choices are what carry the power of goodness and hope to victory.
Which brings me to one of my all-time favourite quotes:
“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
Serenity to accept what we cannot change, Courage to change the things we can
We live in tumultuous times. I lament often over how much I feel I don’t belong to this era and long for a simpler time.
But I had no choice over when, where, to whom I was born to, or the things that happened to me as I grew up. I did not choose my environment, experiences, or the values imposed on me.
In my life, I have seen much of the cruelty of the world and tasted from the cup of bitterness. I drenched myself in its dregs; doing so only left me distrustful and closed off, protected but alone.
Grace or serendipity placed people in my path. They had been there all along, but I chose not to open my heart to them until my life completely crumbled around me and I either had to stretch my hand out for help, or drown:
There are truths I once knew, but had forgotten. Well, not forgotten, but drowned perhaps, by louder voices clamoring in my head. Yet still they came, other voices, speaking of what is certain, what is sure. They break through the haze sometimes, and I remember I am not abandoned - have never been and never will be.
They are a cloud of love that envelops me, cloaks me in a warmth that does not burn and will not fade. And they, to me, are each a tendril of deep roots that anchor me to reality and will not let the tempests sweep me from the earth. They say that to have one true friend is to be truly blessed. Yet I have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and words fail me for the miracle of such a thing.
To those whom I speak, if they don't yet know what they are to me, then here is my chance to tell them, because there is a saying that family is not always blood, and for us that has ever been true. So now I thank them for walking with me through every peak and every valley, for the laughter they share with me, for the strength they lend me, for the truth they speak into my heart, no matter how many times I may need to hear it, for the prayers that sustain me.
Because of them, the world is not so very hopeless, and because of them, I can know a little of the love of God.
Because I forget often that it's okay to not always be strong, and I don't know how to ask, but they create for me safe spaces to be known and not afraid.
Because they see me, in parts but true parts, and they have stayed, and I know they will stay for the days to come.
This day I chased the rising of the sun and for once did not resent it, but felt it as a dawning that promised, not smoother seas, but at least seas that I need not navigate alone, and that perhaps is enough. For in the past years when I entered a Dark Night of the Soul, the likes of which I have not known for an age, they are the constellation of stars that reminds me again and yet again of days I have forgotten, of days to come in which darkness will not endure, and who are with me, and who love me always, always, always.
When Frodo, Sam, and Pippin run into the Elves traveling to the Grey Havens, one of the Elves, Gildor, says this:
“Our paths cross theirs seldom, by chance or purpose. In this meeting there may be more than chance […]”
By chance or purpose, you are here, reading these words. We have gathered from all corners of the world, connecting somehow despite our differences, and finding a shared love of this book and this universe, and hopefully something more.
Like the unlikely heroes of Middle-earth, we are here, together, bound by friendship and common purpose. We exist in this same space and in this time, fighting for a better world.
Gildor says, “Courage is found in unlikely places.” As we continue reading, I hope we find ours alongside these characters.
For next week, read the rest of Book 1, up to “Many Meetings.”
Week One Journaling Exercise & Discussion
Five years ago, I wound up in a psychiatric hospital for two weeks, where a therapist said to me, “Right now, you need to talk to people; find every single person who will listen to you, and talk.”
At the time, I’d spent so many years locking myself away and suppressing my emotions that I was a numb shell of a person. I thought I was safe. My circle consisted of my husband, Michael, and that was pretty much it. No one breached my walls. I didn’t feel quite like a real person, but at least I wasn’t in so much pain—or so I thought.
Those who have known me for a long time sometimes comment on how put together I appear, how they’ve never seen me “lose it,” how unsentimental I am. I used to pride myself on these attributes, and on some level still do. Because the alternative was to be “too much,” or “crazy,” or “a handful,” all words others applied to me derogatorily growing up.
The trouble was, shoving those overwhelming emotions under a lid for years and years was a boiling pot waiting to explode, only I didn’t know it.
“I’m not okay.”
Those three little words took so much out of me to admit, and was all it took to break the dam; instead of further isolation, I found a tide of love, one that hasn’t stopped pouring into me ever since.
I’d like to say everything was fixed after that, but it’s not. What I will say, though, is that I no longer question whether I am loved by my friends, or whether I can depend on them to catch me if I fall. They have, and they will, and by listening to me talk that time and the many times after, they changed my fate.
As we consider the topic of deep friendships, let us think about how we can nurture these bonds in our own lives.
Journal exercise
Consider a time when you felt “fate” had dealt you a difficult hand. How did your choices or the support of others help you navigate this situation?
Write a letter to a friend who has been your “Sam”—someone who was steadfast and loyal through difficult times.
Discussion
(These are only starting points. Feel free to discuss anything that came to mind for you.)
For a fun question, what’s your Lord of the Rings origin story? How did you get introduced to it?
Gandalf advises trusting in friendship over wisdom. In what situations might this be good advice? When might it be problematic?
How does the Ring’s corrupting influence test the friendships in the book? Can you think of real-world parallels to this?
Throughout the quest, Sam consistently puts Frodo’s needs before his own. Could this be seen as Frodo taking advantage of Sam’s loyalty? How would you characterize the balance in their relationship?
What are qualities that you look for in a friendship or what do you think makes for a strong friendship?
I look forward to reading your thoughts!
With Love,
The first essay of subsequent posts for this challenge will always be free. To continue participating in the discussions and read my second personal essay, please upgrade your subscription.
A Fellowship Stronger Than Fate