Friel Black on Navigating Grief and Creativity in Writing

Insights on Editing, Author Relationships, and Finding Joy in Writing

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Thank you to Mere, RJ, and

Amy Gabrielle

for recommending Notes from the Town Hermit to your readers. And thank you to my newest patron, Wayne Powers. These different ways all of you support my writing are seen and cherished.

Friel Black: actual forest fairy

Dear Inklings,

Today, I’m thrilled to introduce to you my very own Friel Black, editor extraordinaire, lover of haunted stories, connector of souls. She is one those special people you meet once in a lifetime and feel completely safe with. I chose her to edit Revenir for the second edition, and I could not have entrusted this precious book of my heart to a more tender human being.

Though she has always written books and loved reading, she now writes purely for the joy of writing, wanting to be seized by that terrible/wonderful obsession and listen to her characters chatter away while she’s trying to sleep.

Hailing from Canada, Friel has lived in many places around the world, including London, England and Istanbul, Turkiye. Now she is home, where it snows up to your waist and the chickadees sing.

Tell us a bit about you and your background.

I come from a music and literature-obsessed family. My childhood was peppered with operas and symphonies and heated debates about books. My tastes tend to diverge a bit from my family’s, in that I do love some good romantasy and contemporary romance, so does this make me the black sheep? Yes. I am the black sheep. I also love a little electronica with my Rachmaninoff, so there.

The older I get, the more hermitty and private I become, but I’m working on that, because this life is meant to be shared, and connections with all different types of people enrich my days. I live in Canada with my sweet little family, where I spend my time playing with Hot Wheels and gluing leaves to construction paper. I also love to play the cello and piano, and I write ghost stories until the wee hours of the morning. I live in a little old house that is MOST CERTAINLY HAUNTED, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fi—

You have now helped a number of authors on their journeys to publication for a great number of years. How do you discern if you are the right fit for an author’s manuscript? Are there any types of stories or writing styles you are particularly drawn to?

Ah, I do enjoy just about every genre. In the end, it’s all about the story and the characters. I always want to understand the author’s vision—to ensure they feel supported and confident in the process. Whether we are a good fit or not is up to the author, and to help discern whether or not we’ll work well together, I offer sample edits to demonstrate my editing process and style. An editor should support and champion their author. The relationship should be good. There should be trust there, I think. And I will do anything to nurture that trust. The authors I work with mean the world to me. 

When it comes to editing, I imagine you as a sort of guide for authors, especially new and emerging ones. How do you help authors strike a balance between their creative instincts and the practical considerations of the market and reaching readers?

Creative instincts are hard to ignore. And they are usually right. When an author writes with passion and from the depths of their heart, the reader feels it and is swept away. I won’t ever interfere with that. I make suggestions and thoroughly explain my thoughts, but in the end, it is more of a discussion.

When something isn’t quite working, together the author and I search for the root of each creative decision. Oftentimes it’s a matter of comfort, and we find a way to work around it—perhaps the author hasn’t found a way for the character’s thoughts to come through on page. Or maybe they are yet unable to kill their darlings. Sometimes it’s a matter of showing versus telling.

Once the root is discovered, it is easy to employ a more reader-friendly solution, while maintaining the author’s unique style. 

In your bio, you mention that you write about grief. How has exploring grief in your writing shaped your artistic vision and sense of purpose?

Grief made me a new person. I think. Grief sharpened and also blurred my perspective, and I was able to write from a new place. In the past, I might not have leaned into those darker emotions, but now, the contrast between light and dark—joy and grief—brings my creativity into sharp relief. 

The writing industry can present many difficulties. What challenges have you faced and how did you overcome them? How do you think your unique perspective contributes to the broader literary landscape?

There is one major hurdle that every author needs to keep in mind—a hurdle that is prevalent in pursuing either traditional publishing or indie. Everything is subjective. One person’s DNF is another’s five star read. And who isn’t a mood reader?

Every author needs to keep in mind that, no matter what, their audience will find them. Someone will be touched by your words. Keep writing and keep putting yourself out there.

Write fanfiction and post it on AO3. Post on Substack. Post on Wattpad. Or, when you have something you think you’d like to publish, put the word out in the Instagram community that you’re looking for beta readers. Submit a short story to a lit magazine.

The more you write and share, the easier it becomes—even rejection or harsh criticism, which is unfortunately a part of the process. The industry is deeply flawed, but there is always hope. And you, dear writer, will find your own unique path.

Since being in the industry for many years now, how would you say your writing has evolved and how do you keep yourself growing as a writer?

For me, and this is only my own experience, I find I’m better able to tackle deeper issues in my writing when I keep my prose simple. I used to write with flourish, but it no longer suits me. I suppose it’s a matter of finding one’s own true voice and style, which can often take a while—it took me 30 years! (Don’t look at that number too closely). I’ve also gotten a little better at shutting the world out, and I write for the joy alone.

As for growing as a writer, the only way to do that is to write. And write. And write. Keep writing. It’s impossible not to grow if you keep writing. Open your heart and write.

Tell us more about your own works and why you wrote them.

I’ve always had stories in my head. Stories have shaped my life. When I was a child, reading a book or watching a movie, I was always writing a canon-divergent in my head alongside the canon. When I’d get stuck on a persistent AU, I would foam at the mouth, and lose myself completely to exploring the story. Sooooo, not much has changed??? I’m more subtle about the mouth foaming now, I guess?

My first full-length novel of note (that wasn’t a fan fiction) came after the death of my daughter. I grieved through the writing process, and maybe it was too painful and honest to be publishable, but I needed to write it. I haven’t written anything like that since, but there is always an element of grief in in my novels. It makes it feel more real for me.

Can you give us your tips and advice for getting out of writing ruts?

Ah. The bane of every creative’s existence. I will say first that sometimes a writing rut is a signal to rest. Taking a break from writing is okay. It isn’t going anywhere. A lot of writers fear that if they take time off, they will lose their spark. This never happens. It’s in you. Forever.

But a real writing rut is usually indicative of fear within the writer. Have you stopped writing for yourself? Are you writing for an imagined audience? Are you worrying about your perceived critics? This is especially true when you are working on a piece you intend to share with the world.

My best advice is this: Open a new and secret document. No one will ever see this document. It is for you and you alone. Continue there. Write as badly and as self indulgently as you can. Write what you would never admit to the world. Don’t edit. Don’t look back. Write. Words on the page. And if it’s spectacular garbage, reward yourself with a treat! You deserve it for so bravely allowing yourself to write honestly, even if it isn’t up to your usual standards.

Another suggestion: Have you tried writing sprints? Set your timer for 15 minutes and write, write, write until the timer chimes. This usually works to get the words flowing.

Another trick that always works for me is this: Go back to your roots. Which works and authors inspired you to begin your writing journey? Read those authors. Read those works out loud, and luxuriate in the beautiful prose. Your writing will find you again.

To connect with Friel, stay up to date with her work, or hire her for editing services, find her on her website or Instagram.

I hope you enjoyed the interview! Next week, I’m sharing my writing origin story for the first time. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss it.