Food, Family, and Fashion Fails
Chapter 12
You are reading The Misadventures of Endora Pan, a romantic comedy exploring the unpredictable nature of love and the chaos of everyday life. Set in the world of a young Taiwanese-American woman, this story delves into themes of self-discovery, cultural identity, and finding connection in unexpected places. Written in a witty, self-aware style, this novel is for readers looking for a light-hearted yet emotional read.
“We didn’t exchange numbers. I haven’t heard or seen him since that dinner.” Endora tried to keep a tone of disappointment out of her voice, but Tiffany picked up on it anyway.
“Oh well, he’s probably a douche,” Tiffany said, patting her shoulder.
“Yeah.” Who cares if he did dishes and was nice to my awkward, weird brother? “Anyways, one of my college friends I haven’t talked to in forever asked if I wanted to meet some coworker of hers, and—what are you doing?”
Tiffany was pulling at the front of Endora’s leggings with a look of indignant disbelief. “Honey, are your pants backwards?”
Endora looked down.
Her back pockets were indeed in the front.
She had no idea how that had happened.
“Oh. My. Goodness. What?” Endora could barely hear her own voice over the sound of Tiffany’s shrieking laughter.
“Oh my god. I’m writing this down. You’re a walking disaster, honey. I can’t believe this is real life. You deserve a book out of your life. Just ridiculous.”
Endora ran upstairs to fix her leggings as Tiffany pulled her phone out to jot down the latest in her “chronicles of Endora” notes while her mad cackle continued. Marius glanced over his shoulder with a bemused look (he knew he’d get the full story with embellishments later), as Endora climbed over the baby gate and navigated toys scattered across the floor.
By the time she made it back to the living room, Tiffany had disappeared into her bedroom. The sound of a baby crying came through the not-quite-closed door. Another face peeked out of another bedroom just across the hall.
“Hey Colin,” Endora called.
The 7-year-old shuffled out. “Endora 妳怎麼來了？(Auntie Endora, why are you here?)”
“I’m here to give you yummy food!” Which reminded her she should start defrosting some of the meat in the fridge if she wanted it ready for tomorrow’s feasting.
Colin’s sleepiness slipped away in an instant. “YAY!” he shouted, jumping up and down. “Can I help? I can cook! Remember I helped you and Daddy make cookies last time.”
Endora laughed and waved her arm toward the kitchen. “Come on then.” She caught Colin in a hug before he could run past her. He hugged her back with the exuberance of an energetic young boy.
“Daddy! Endora 阿姨 is here!”
“I know, Colin.” Marius’s voice preceded him down the stairs. “Where’s Mommy?”
“Dunno.” Colin’s attention had already flitted away toward the packages of food Endora was taking out of her cooler. “Whoa, so much food!” he slammed his hands on the rim of the cooler.
Young children have a thing for talking in exclamation marks, as those who are often around children will know. This one in particular has quite an enthusiasm for food. Growing little boys, his parents lamented, eat so much. But as other parents know, toddlers also have a notorious appetite—paired with pickiness.
“Well, well, I see we’re all awake now,” Tiffany said. In her arms was 2-year-old Morgan, still rubbing her red eyes. “Mini tyrant still hates getting her diaper changed l-o-l. You’d think she’d be used to it by now.”
“Hi 寶貝 (baby)！” Endora dropped everything and ran over to Tiffany, arms outstretched.
Morgan stared at her blankly for just a few moments before reaching out with an, “Ahh.”
“Hehe she still remembers her godmother, good girl.”
Endora gathered the toddler she still viewed as a baby into her arms. Morgan allowed this for only a few seconds before squirming to be put down and running off in search of—whatever toddlers search for when they wake up—in this case, her pull-along dog.
While Morgan and Tiffany were busy reuniting with Endora, Marius and Colin had carried on putting groceries into the now-overflowing fridge.
“Oh, those cream donuts from Zion go in the freezer if you’re not going to eat them right away, but you should try one, Marius.”
“Ooh..”
Tiffany skipped to her husband and opened her mouth for a bite even before the plastic came off. Like a swarm, Colin and Morgan both appeared at Marius’s feet. One pulled at his sweatpants while the other cried, “Can I have some, Daddy? Can I, please?”
“More? More? More? More?” Morgan repeated in the background, while pulling.
Chaos reigns in a household of hungry children wanting their afternoon snack.
Endora laughed. “I see that’s still her favourite word. Alright 寶貝，乾媽給你們 (baby, godmother will give you.” She shuffled the two beggars to the dining table, grabbing a donut on her way before Morgan had a chance to cry, and split the pastry for them to snack on.