The Misadventures of Endora Pan | Damaged Goods and Second Chances
Chapter 21
You are reading The Misadventures of Endora Pan, a romantic comedy exploring the unpredictable nature of love and the chaos of everyday life. Set in the world of a young Taiwanese-American woman, this story delves into themes of self-discovery, cultural identity, and finding connection in unexpected places. Written in a witty, self-aware style, this novel is for readers looking for a light-hearted yet emotional read.
Tiffany’s comment had the double-edged effect of convincing Endora to agree to see Dominic later, and filling her head with so many thoughts her girls took notice and gave her no end of grief.
“Did you celebrate too hard after your market yesterday, Endora?” they joked.
Endora laughed it off and tried to attend to the discussion they were having about how to find the “right one” (God’s sense of irony was on a roll that day). Her thoughts plummeted with a jolt when one of her high school girls asked, “More importantly, how do we avoid the wrong one, like you?”
All heads jerked toward Endora, who stared at Lily.
It wasn’t that she hadn’t spoken of her past experience before. She even should have anticipated the question, given the topic. Endora was, by all accounts, an open book who believed in the power of personal testimony and community, the latter of which she had drawn on for strength many a time.
And anyway, the scandal had happened at her very church.
She cleared her throat. “So, uh, well, you guys all know about how I was engaged to Jacob before we broke it off, even though we had been together for three years at that point. Obviously, I thought he was the one and we were going to get married, but looking back, I can see a lot of red flags that I just ignored.”
Her small group members were entranced.
“Like what?” Mia prodded.
“Well, like how he didn’t have any interest in getting to know my family or friends. He just didn’t make any effort the whole time we were dating, even though he said we were dating for marriage. He wasn’t very emotionally available either. I just didn’t know what he was thinking or feeling most of the time, even if we had fun together. I dismissed a lot of things as personality differences. For example, I commit to plans but he was okay with cancelling things at the last minute. I kind of realized that he actually just didn’t want to hang out with me that me.” Endora gave a wry laugh. “Or prioritize me. He was very ambitious in his career as a doctor, but he strung me along with promises of marriage. I guess after he finished residency and gotten pretty settled, and he still didn’t give any signs that our relationship was progressing any further, I realized he was just giving me lip service.”
As Endora shared, a dull ache spread from her stomach and up through her chest. It had been over a year since she broke off her engagement with her ex-fiancé. She’d leaned on her church family and Tiffany for support, gone to counseling, and cried copious amounts of tears, but she felt a tightening in her throat and her eyes stinging even now. The humiliation of seeing Jacob with his new girlfriend every week at church and the occasional pitying looks she still got from people broke through her strong self-confidence.
Damaged goods, an insidious voice said at times, when she was at her lowest. Nobody will ever want you.
Lily stuffed a tissue into Endora’s hand. She hadn’t noticed her little group had cocooned her with their arms as tears dropped onto her lap.
“Sorry,” she sniffled. “Anyways, this is why you should learn from me!”
Aino patted her back. “As you’ve said to me before, don’t fall in love with someone’s potential. There’s someone out there for everyone. And if not, Jesus was single and we should be more like Jesus anyway.”
Everyone laughed, even Endora.
“Yeah, I’m taking my own advice from now on. No more spiritually or emotionally immature guys.”
The girls voiced their assent.
Endora left small group feeling supported and full of affection for the teenagers she’d spent the year investing in. As she drove to meet Dominic at Tototea, she wondered if he would be another man in a long string of disappointments.